I mean, now that I think about it, we always have the same conversation. Switch out the names and/or specific details, and this is it:

"Is that movie out?"

"That movie."

"You know, the movie about that guy?"

"That guy."

"YOU KNOW, WE SAW IT!"

"We own Hidalgo."

"NOT THAT ONE! And not Troy, either--"

"Mom, that's not about 'a guy.' That's about 'a lot of guys'."

"I know--hey, when is that coming out?"

"Not until February or something."

"WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT??"

"Mom, I don't know..."

"I know you don't know, it's not something you can control. But still, that's ridiculous. Anyway, that movie about that guy. The title, it's one word--not Troy--"

"King Arthur."

"YES!"

"Mom, that's two words."

"I know."

So then she thinks of another movie, one that hasn't come out in the theater yet, but of course she doesn't know the title--I know the movie titles and Mom knows the movies, and we can't! ever! quite! seem! to put it together. She saw it while flipping through the new Premiere I just got, which I haven't read. ("Well, when we get to Best Buy--" "IT'S NOT AT BEST BUY, I SAID IT HASN'T COME OUT YET, YOU SILLY--" "I KNOW IT'S NOT AT BEST BUY, YOU MORON, BUT THE MAGAZINE YOU SAW IT IN IS!" "Oh." I won't even drag you through the conversation about where in the store the magazine would be, but it involved a lot of "THE CHECKOUT STAND!" "THE CHECKOUT STAND??" "THE CHECKOUT STAND!!" back-and-forth. And then they don't have the right issue at the checkout stand. I have to tell you, we're cracking up all through this, so it's not like we hate each other.) Her description of the mystery movie: "It's some British movie! You know! With the skirts all trailing along on the ground! YOU KNOW! It comes out, like, this month! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS! COME ON! It's got some name, like, Something on the Something. You were talking about wanting to see it!" And so I start throwing out names of things I know I want to see, like the Lemony Snicket movie and Alexander and Phantom of the Opera and what-have-you, because as the King Arthur example illustrates, just because she says the movie conforms to certain criteria does not mean it actually does. And then she utters a sentence that I am pretty sure will go down in family infamy from this day forth: "Something on the Something! You know, like, Buford on the Savoy or something."

I'm sorry, I just put my head back and howled at that point. We're in the Summit parking lot and I'm just collapsed against the car door crying. I haven't laughed that hard in months. We'd be walking through Best Buy after that and every five minutes I'd just mutter "Buford! Buford on the--!" and start crying again, and then she'd start laughing at me laughing, and we'd be off again. The salespeople thought we were insane. I'm actually kind of tearing up right now. My face is starting to hurt just thinking about it. And you know what the best part is? I flipped through the magazine, and based on an interview and a two-page ad I saw, I have a horrible feeling she's talking about... The Merchant of Venice.