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Samson Agonistes

Page history last edited by PBworks 17 years, 1 month ago

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Samson Agonistes:

"Samson, honey? What's your big weakness?" And he's all like, "Seven green withs that have never been dried," which is total bullshit, so you know he knows that telling her is a bad idea. He knows! And then the next day he wakes up, and he's like, "Baby, why am I tied up?" And Dalila's bustling around the house, like, making coffee and whistling like she totally can't hear him, and he's like, "Baby, are these green withs? Seven of them? That have never been dried?" And she's like, "OMG LOOK HERE COME THE PHILISTINES!" And the Philistines come and Samson's all like RAAAA! SAMSON SMASH! and now they ded. And that night, the big complaint of the day is... DALILA saying, "Honey, you totally fibbed! Why didn't you tell me the truth?" And I'm sorry, but "Baby, why am I tied up?" will ALWAYS trump "Why didn't you tell me the truth?" But Samson's like, "Awww, honey, I just wasn't sure I could trust you." NO, REALLY. And they do this for THREE DAYS ("Baby? These ropes? Are they new? Seven of them?") and EVERY DAY the Philistines just "happen" to bust in while he's tied up with the exact thing he told her about. And then! AND THEN! "It came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death" ("YOU ARE SLEEPING UNTO THE COUCH, MISTER"), that he tells her the truth and they come and cut his hair off and blind him and put him in the workhouse. HE TELLS HER THE TRUTH. ARE YOU FOR REAL? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? I just... GAH. Anything that happened to that man, he had coming, I'm sorry.

 

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