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Stop Harshing My Lunar Buzz

Page history last edited by PBworks 16 years, 6 months ago

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Stop Harshing My Lunar Buzz (September 6th, 2007):

 

So at some point, there was a vampire, but it was a modern blue jeans kind of vampire, and he may have looked like Brad Pitt occasionally, but this is probably because Brad Pitt is in 73.8% of all my dreams (and yet I am never making out with him, which must have been one of the Long-Term Sad-Making Options the White Witch considered before she settled on "always winter and never Christmas"). I had some kind of female friend who staggered out into a very Spanish-moss-draped kind of country-plantation road, and she collapsed and was bleeding from the throat, o noz, and clearly she had been done in by the vampire. So then I went to a tiny little cracker box of an airport and I found the vampire sitting on the floor in a lounge area and we considered dating. He may have also been wearing a plaid shirt by that time. I don't know. But then I had to catch a space shuttle to the moon, but it was very important that he seek medical help for my friend, who I think was still collapsed under the Spanish moss, but he may have escaped instead. This part of the dream is particularly fuzzy, as I was very concerned about getting to the moon with all these college kids, where we set up a large hospital-colored tent. (It just... was, okay?) I was concerned as to whether the air was breathable, but surprisingly, it was. Immediately a couple of guys started fighting over some girl, and then one of them was knocked down and killed (at which point we figured out that gravity was, unfortunately, in effect). This tragedy was promptly forgotten as we got back to the Serious Business of Doing Things in a Tent on the Moon, and I think the guy may have even shown up again later. Eventually, after a great deal of fuss and bother we got back down to earth (I am sure the Serious Business was interesting, but I can't remember it now, except that the tent began to look like one of those "play structures" with tubey openings, and we were very concerned that the openings were getting smaller and we would never get back inside the Tent of Many Hospital Colors), and hundreds of people were waiting in bleachers to watch us land because apparently the whole country had been afraid we wouldn't make it, and I found my maternal grandparents and hugged them but then I couldn't find my mother. I kept finding my father's family but not my mother, and we kept calling each other back and forth on our cell phones, which is probably the most boring thing that has ever happened to me in a dream, ever. So then I went back to the dorm that I haven't seen in six years because I, you know, graduated and was trying to convince Brett the Vet that I'd had a thrilling and dangerous time on the moon, and I was gone for months and months, don't you remember?, and The Lovely Emily was like, "Didn't we just go to a movie, like, three weeks ago?" So we got on his computer and we were Googling for news articles (" '{My real name}' + moon"), and we found some! See! It really happened! I was on the moon, and it was dangerous, and we slept in cartoon-character sleeping bags and ate crackers, I told you so, and Brett the Vet was like, "No, I'm pretty sure we went to a movie last weekend, too." STOP HARSHING MY LUNAR BUZZ, SERIOUSLY. So I went to an aquarium to look up proof in the stacks (what? You don't have a library aquarium?) that I had been on the moon, but all I kept finding were these weird books, and one of them was diseased ("Uh, I think you need to take a look at this book? Maybe fix it? I think it's diseased"), and the pages kept sticking together, because they were made of oozing tissue and viscera. And then I woke up. Now I want to upgrade Crash Club to a B and give this dream a C - , because at least Crash Club was interesting.

 

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