March 18th, 2009: In which The Littlest Edward gives into temptation and noms on Iorek.

Yeah, it's four in the morning because I just got woken up by a miniature roar and a bloodcurdling scream, a series of tiny shrieks accompanied by several hard whacking sounds, a jingling I couldn't quite place, and then a battle cry of "I KNEW IT, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Next thing I know, I turn on the lamp and there's Iorek on his side roaring and kicking his legs drunkenly, Lyra wielding a metal bookmark like a medieval flail, Anna brandishing the formal toothpicks, and The Littlest Edward cowering there on the nightstand with A PUFF OF STUFFING HANGING OUT OF HIS MOUTH?

Featuring

• Anna Dollerious
• Eowyn

• Galadriel

• Purple Arwen

• White Arwen

• Fugagorn

• Elizabeth Swann
• Helm's Deep Aragorn
• Lyra Silvertongue (and Pan)
• Iorek
• Faramir One
• Faramir Two
• The Littlest Edward 

Notes

• I've had that bookmark for a long time; it happened to be sitting in a tea mug on the shelf beneath The Shelf, which is what gave me the idea to give it to Lyra.

• The Arwens "casting Magic Missile" refers to the fact that, in the LOTR movies at least, Arwen seems to have the power of commanding the river--not that this is "magic" or "a missile," but it's more than Book!Arwen can do.

• "Magic Missile" itself is a reference to the Dungeons & Dragons parody video "Summoner Geeks" ("I'm casting it against THE DARKNESS!" "I'm getting drunk, are there any girls there?! Roll the dice to see if I'm getting drunk!"). Or maybe it's not so much a reference I expected people to get as an inspiration.

• Logically, it just seemed to me that a toy vampire would eat/drink what was inside a toy--I'm not sure what that would be in the case of something made of hard plastic (although this will be addressed later), but clearly, for a stuffed animal, that would be stuffing. Cotton balls seemed close enough.

• All the references in previous installments to Edward being uncomfortable around the other dolls were intended to foreshadow this entry.

• This is also why dust bunnies were specifically mentioned in The Last Straw. I actually did have to clean my dresser in order for it to look decent enough for a picture, and there really was a good bit of dust, which was what gave me the idea.

• The fact that you have to go through the bathroom to get to the attic is also used, in a fictionalized way, in a story I wrote called "The Hot Door."

• I have no idea where that desk came from, but it's at least as old as me, and probably a good bit older. We're keeping it in the attic so that I can have it when I have more room.

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See also

• Dolls

• The Secret Life of Dolls