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Blocks of Wood

Page history last edited by PBworks 16 years, 6 months ago


Blocks of Wood (October 26th, 2007), in which a TV delivery goes very, very badly:


"Okay," grits Phone!Mom in my ear, and I can hear the ineffectively suppressed rage in her voice, "you're going to need to get two blocks of wood--"

"Blocks of wood?"

"Blocks of wood! BLOCKS OF WOOD! George stained two blocks of wood! They're in the den! Or in the kitchen! Or on the bed in our room!"

"Blocks of--"


The two Sears Guys are staring at me in a rather stoic fashion, but unfortunately, they are not the two blocks of wood I am looking for. I'm running around the house desperately looking for Blocks of Wood! (and trying to keep the guys from hearing the steady stream of profanity leaking from my phone), and suddenly I turn a corner and see them on the entertainment center shelf behind Guy #2, which explains why I didn't see them the first time around. When I see them, I realize immediately what they're for: the TV sits on a simple wooden--hutch, I guess you'd call it? Basically, kind of a makeshift shelf so you can put a DVD player, for example, underneath the TV. The Blocks of Wood!!!, which are actually about eighteen inches long and three inches thick, are there to raise the shelf so that my parents can also fit the cable box underneath the new TV, because the new TV is a lot more narrow--you know, shallow, back to front--and they won't be able to perch anything on top of it. What she wants me to do is get the Blocks of Wood!!1! underneath the shelf before the Sears Guys start dealing with the heavy stuff. Meanwhile, she's fuming in my ear: "GOD! GODDAMMIT! This just makes me so GODDAMNED FUCKING ANGRY, I just can't even tell you--"

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you don't have to."


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