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Dr Jones

Page history last edited by PBworks 16 years, 9 months ago


Dr. Jones: My dentist. No relation to me. Particularly since my real name isn't Cleolinda Jones.


Dr. Jones is an excellent dentist who did an excellent job and I'm not afraid of him at all, which is good because then he revved up the drill ("RRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEER!"), and I don't know if you've been under a dental drill any time recently, but that, my friends, is one of your Come to Jesus moments. "I'll be good! I'll brush, I promise! I don't like being stabbed by a thousand mints but the new prescription fluoride toothpaste you gave me, it's actually really gentle and I really do like the taste OH GOD PUT THAT DOWN I'LL FLOSS! I'LL FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

And then there was painting and daubing and sanding and I realized... I couldn't feel my nose. "Dotta Jo, I canna fee by dose! Wheh ih by dose? WHEH DIYU BUHT BY DOSE?"

But it was fun, mostly--he was in a silly mood, and was asking me about the book and was doo-doo-dooing whatever came on the radio, which at that moment was "She Works Hard for the Money." "I kinda want to write a book. I could write a book about disco. Doo-doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo... What do you think about poetry? I just don't understand it, myself. Maybe I'm just ignorant."

"Seh de man wideh driw innis han!"

And he and I and the hygienist sat there and laughed for like ten minutes. You probably had to be there.

Oh, and then, he's chatting on, and he says, "You know, I'd like to write a book someday. A geopolitical book. About what's gone wrong with this country," and I'm all like, "Go Dotta Jo! Powa tooda peepa!" And then he's like, "I'd write a book like that girl... you know, she's on Fox News all the time... ANN COULTER. What's wrong? Did I hurt you with the drill?"


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