Because 2008 hit my family with a massive tax bill (unexpected pension taxes are unexpected!), emergency $700 dog surgery, and the deaths of our 1) air conditioner, 2) TV, 3) oven, 4) dryer, and 5) refrigerator (twice) (and then the coffeemaker, just to rub salt into the wound), we've had to borrow, charge and scrape up as much as we could over about six months to pay off about $12,000 in surprise debts/expenses. And, uh, we haven't done all that good a job of it, and six months is up, and the interest payments are starting to kick in, and it's getting ugly.

So in April, when the bad tax news first came in, I started trying to think of something I could do to bring in some money. And now it's January 2009 and the bills are due and I'm still working on it, but it's this: ten of the Movies in Fifteen Minutes that appeared online (free), annotated with new information and commentary, zipped together and sold as an e-book (or an e-folder of RTF files, you know, whatever) for $10 (10 annotated parodies x $1 = $10). I don't know if it'll sell, but I'm going to try it. Here's the ones going in:

Van Helsing

Dracula (1979)

Prisoner of Azkaban

King Arthur

Phantom of the Opera

V for Vendetta

The Prestige

300

The Golden Compass

Cloverfield

I'm saving Troy, Goblet of Fire, The Happening, Wanted and Twilight for a future series, if this ends up doing at all well. I'll probably drop Hannibal and Hidalgo, because I feel like they're the two... least good. Particularly good features at this point include:

• "The Prestige in Fifteen Minutes": A scene-by-scene explanation of which (spoiler) is in each scene; discussions of actual stage magic and the (partial) history thereof

• "Dracula in Fifteen Minutes": An in-depth discussion of how changing the characters' relationships from the book to this particular movie changes the entire theme of the story

• "Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes": A comparison of the book and the movie/musical, with key excerpts from the (public domain) text; my favorite chapter, also annotated

So, you know. Wish me luck. And a better 2009.

See also

• 2008
• Movies in Fifteen Minutes